When competition arises in life, gain a new perspective on the right measuring stick to use.
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Welcome to the Be Your Best Self Blog by Marsha Abbott.
"I Want to Win."
In your head, you can only hear the following words…
” I want to win. I need to win. I must win.”
With your swimsuit and cap secured tightly to your body, you step up onto the racing block next to the lap pool. The black parallel lines from beneath the water glare back at you…showing the way. You then bend over and place your hands between your perfectly positioned feet. With your head down, you rock forward and wait for that whistle to blow.
This is what you have been waiting for. This is where all of your practice and effort will finally pay off. This is your moment. This is your time.
And so, as the nerves set in, the only thoughts running through your head are…
” I want to win. I have to win. I am going to win.”
Then that whistle blows, and you dive headfirst into the pool moving your body as fast as you possibly can. Hoping that your time will be the best. Praying that as final results are compared, you will come out on top. Seeing out of the corner of your eye those other swimmers, you want nothing more than to be the one to bring home that gold medal you worked so hard for.
And it’s moments like this that every athlete can relate too. These thoughts are what all competitors have in common no matter what the sport, activity, or contest. But now I must ask: Is this always the best way forward in life? Is beating every opponent always the best outcome?
Let’s see what you think…
As you gracefully move your arms in a perfect breaststroke to finish up your final lap, you know that the end is near. You are slowly running out of breath. You pushed yourself so hard. And while those other swimmers are still visible from the corner of your eye, you are confident that your final results are better than any others. So as you lift your head out of the pool, and as the water slides down your cap, you look around to see who the winner will be.
But as you look around, things are not as they should be. This is not what you expected. Suddenly, you are no longer understanding what is happening around you. There are no fans sitting in the stands. There are no officials or coaches on deck. And those other swimmers, they are nowhere to be seen. In fact, you finally see that you are all alone with only the rippling sound of water surrounding you.
And that is when it hits you…those other swimmers never existed. Your only companion today is the reflection of yourself glaring back at you because this swimming pool is actually encircled with mirrors. And it was YOUall along that you were seeing out of the corner of your eye. There wasn’t anyone you were ever competing against! Instead, you were competing against YOU! You were pushing yourself to beat YOU! And you were giving your best effort to be the best YOU that you could be!
So, let me ask this again: Is beating every opponent always the most important outcome? When it comes to life, is comparing yourself against other people’s abilities always the best way forward?
Or…
Should we be living a life where we try to be the best we can be…no matter what others are doing in their life? Should we focus on our own story and growing our own talents…even if they don’t always match up to others? And should we compare ourselves, well, with ourselves…instead of feeling like our abilities are never good enough?
Now don’t get me wrong, competition in life really can be important. It has a magical way of encouraging us to put forth our best effort. And it gives us that drive we sometimes need to achieve that well deserved “win” in life. But when push comes to shove, what matters most is when we use that effort and energy and put it into being our best selves...into being the best we were always meant to be. Because, you see, each of our stories are different. Each of our journeys are unique. So there is no sense in comparing ourselves to others and feeling we are not worthy or that we don’t measure up.
Because remember your “measuring stick of life” can and should only be used by YOU!
So the next time you catch yourself suck in that trap of comparing your abilities to everyone else’s in your life, I want to you to pause and remember there is only one person you should want to win against. There is only one person you need to win against. And there is only one person you must win against. And that person will always be YOU!
*For those of you struggling with something in life or have a topic of interest that you want me to talk about in this blog, email me at BeYourBestSelfBlog@gmail.com. Let’s work together to Be Our Best Selves!