Gain a new perspective on what it means to not always be okay.
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Welcome to the Be Your Best Self Blog by Marsha Abbott.
"Is This Real or Make-Believe?"
As I child, I always loved to play “make-believe”. It was my favorite pastime! And most of the time, I would prefer to make-believe the future life I always wanted. So whether it was barbies, babies, or Legos, I would find myself, each and every time, setting up the perfect “home”. Then I would designate parents and children to the perfect toy figures that fit the mold. And finally, I would play “house” for hours on end with the perfectlittle family who always had the perfect little life. Those times bring back some of my best-loved childhood memories! Because like it said, it really was my favorite pastime!
Did you also do this as a young child? Was creating that make-believe family one of your favorite things to do too? Did you also create that perfect little life for them?
If so, then I am sure you can understand this next question I am about to ask. Because as we have grown older and have finally made this make- believe family our current reality, why is it that the happiness we were expecting is not always there? In fact, because we are expected to always project happiness about our life, what ends up happening is that we start to create a world that isn’t real at all. Instead, we find ourselves playing “make-believe” every chance we get. And recently, I have been realizing how bad this can truly be…
Let me start by stating the obvious. Yes of course, I am a woman who believes in positivity, who loves positive energy, and who wants to feel like everything in life will bring happiness and perfect harmony. Obviously, I am a glass half full kind of girl. And certainly, I want to always try to take a hardship in life and turn it into the best outcome possibly. Clearly, I am this way! And by now, I am certain that all of you who follow me regularly realize this too. It is one of the reasons why I started this blog over a year ago. I wanted to share that positive perspective with all of you and learn together from our experiences in life. But recently, when I was talking to a BYBS blog follower, I was surprised to find myself questioning if we should always be following this optimistic path…
As I was talking to our blog friend, and as she shared some of the hardships in her life right now, I could tell she was struggling. And I knew she wasn’t okay. But in the midst of her story, she paused to admit the following. She confessed to me that she hates to share these thoughts because all she feels like she is doing is spreading negative energy to others in her life. And in a practical world, I could see why she felt exactly this way.
But that is when I realized that we can spend a lifetime continuing to play make-believe, or we can choose instead to spend our life being real. Because in a perfect world, we do in fact want to spread happiness. In a perfect world, we should always try to share positive energy. And all of this is so easy to do…in a perfect world! But if I have learned anything as I have grown older, it’s simply that life is far from perfect. So by trying to consistently portray that our world is flawless and by always keeping a smile plastered on our face, it is us choosing to live a fake and make-believe life. And frankly, that should never be okay.
So it’s time to be real and finally put away that imaginary world we once created as young children. The reality is this…life is hard and the world is not always kind. So when those tough moments enter into our life, it’s okay to not always be positive. And it’s certainly okay to vent when we need it the most. Because the bottom line is this... it’s okay to not always be okay.
So let me ask you these questions. And I want you to be real when you answer…no more make- believe allowed! How are you doing right now? What hardship is weighing on you? Has life been unkind to you or someone you love? Do you really feel okay in this moment, or are you falling apart inside?
If you don’t feel okay, just like our blogger friend, then let me share with you what I shared with her. Sometimes when we take the negative feelings we have inside and when we choose to open up, it may temporarily feel like we are spreading around negative vibes…but that is not the reality at all. Instead, we are choosing to admit the real hardships of life (instead of living in make-believe land). We are choosing to vent in the hopes to release some of the pressure that is weighing us down (instead of letting it build to the point where we break). And mostly, we are choosing to talk through these challenges in the hopes of learning from each other and with the determination to eventually bring real positivity back into our life (instead of living with that fake smile forever).
Because let’s face it…we are no longer little children anymore, and life is no longer make-believe. There will be times where things aren’t perfect or happy at all. And there is absolutely no reason to hide the negativity that is surrounding you. So in those moments, speak up, give yourself some grace, and always remember the following that I learned from our blogger friend…
It’s okay to be real. It’s okay to be raw. And frankly, it’s okay to not always be okay.
*For those of you struggling with something in life or have a topic of interest that you want me to talk about in this blog, email me at BeYourBestSelfBlog@gmail.com. Let’s work together to Be Our Best Selves!