As we start a new year, gain a new perspective when it comes to hiding our former selves.
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Welcome to the Be Your Best Self Blog by Marsha Abbott.
"The Box"
We all carry around with us a special little box with a lid keeping it tightly shut. Some of these boxes are bigger than others. But there is something about each of our unique boxes that really needs to be pointed out. Not only is that lid closed tightly, but it is secured so well that nobody in our life could ever get it open. Nobody will ever get into it because we spend a lifetime making sure they never do. We try so hard to hold that lid as tightly as we can…
But here is the thing…that special little box is getting pretty heavy, so it is time to finally open that lid, take that leap, and choose to let it all out…
I want you to take a moment right now and think back on your life. Think about those situations that you are least proud of. I want you to remember when something happened in your life, but nobody ever found out about it. Maybe you stole something from someone else. Or maybe you made a mistake and hurt somebody. Possibly it was a time when you made fun of a person who was weaker than you. Or maybe…it was even a time where instead you were the one who got hurt. And you were hurt so deeply that you weren’t even sure how to handle it. So you buried it deep and never told anyone.
There is something that all of these situations have in common. And lately, from talking to some of my BYBS blog followers, I have realized so many people out there have situations just like this that they have been living with for far too long. They have either caused the hurting or were on the receiving end of it, but in both circumstances the outcome was the same…they felt ashamed and didn’t want anyone in their life to know about it.
So guess what they did? They took that special little box that they carry around with them. They opened up the lid, and they tucked this part of their life into it with the intent to never let it out. And they chose this path because of one simple fact…they didn’t know how to handle the shame. So, they decided to silence it by throwing it in that box. And it seemed like the best option. It appeared to be the smartest choice.
Did you do that with those situations in your life? I would venture to guess that many of you did this exact same thing with the shame that you have in your life. But today I am here to challenge you. I am here to ask you this – Was it really the best option? Was it really the smartest choice? Because frankly, I don’t think it was….
Shame is truly one of the worst emotions we can feel as a human. Nobody likes to make mistakes. Nobody likes to have horrible and embarrassing things happen to them. But it is unrealistic to think we can go unscathed through life. That is just not how the real-world works. And when those situations arrive, and we feel that horrible emotion of shame, it is just as unrealistic to think we can silence it. Because that is the one thing we can never do. No matter how much we try to tuck it away, no matter how much we want to pretend it didn’t happen in our life. The more we try to silence it, the louder it seems to scream at us from the inside.
So by “tucking it away”, we just end up spending our life trying to keep it buried deep…to keep it quiet. We waste not only hours, but also days, weeks, months, and years of our life trying to escape the shame that lives inside the special little box that we carry with us. And that box feels so heavy over time as it controls us and it controls our life.
So what if we instead chose to do something different? What if we decided to open that lid and not keep the shame silenced anymore? What could that outcome look like?
For me, I can see a much different world than the one we lead now. It would be a life of freedom where this shame would finally lose all of its control over us. I also see a life of peace and tranquility because we were finally brave enough to let it all out. And most importantly, I can picture a world where we can finally give or ask for that forgiveness that we needed all along. To move on, and to finally put it behind us.
So, it’s time to take that leap. It’s time to stop letting your shame use up all of your precious time and energy. So grab ahold of that box you have been carrying around and open that lid! Open it up, and let it all out…finally free yourself from the shame…that shame that has been controlling you for far too long.
*For those of you struggling with something in life or have a topic of interest that you want me to talk about in this blog, email me at BeYourBestSelfBlog@gmail.com. Let’s work together to Be Our Best Selves!