When it comes to success on our journey, gain a new perspective on how to achieve mental toughness.
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Welcome to the Best Your Best Self Blog by Marsha Abbott.
"The Secret Recipe"
I have a confession to make. It’s something I have to admit to all of you, but it’s something I am not super proud of. So here it goes…I am terrible in the kitchen. And I mean like really bad. When it comes to cooking, baking, sauteing and everything in between, I am just rotten at it all. Growing up, my mom and sister always did the cooking. I was usually the cleaner of the house (now that I have mastered). And still to this day, my mom and sister are amazing cooks! They are always willing and excited to try new recipes. My sister can even see a bunch of ingredients in the fridge and figure out how to make a meal out of it… (I don’t get it.) For me…I didn’t get that gift. That trait, or should I say talent, just skipped right over me.
So my husband, after 16 years, has succumbed to the fact that he will have to make the meals in our house. And I have to admit, he does pretty well. But then again, as long as I don’t have to make it, it all tastes good. Even the kids give me a hard time and tell me that I have about three meals I can make (most of them crockpot or casserole meals). And frankly, they couldn’t be more accurate...it’s literally three meals and nobody ever eats them anyway. (Should I take the hint?) So cooking, it’s just not my thing. I don’t have that special touch, that special gift when it comes to the kitchen…
Or so I always thought…
But then a few months back, my husband shared a YouTube video that really had more impact on me than I could have ever imagined. It was an interview that Joe Rogan had with David Goggins. And this guy…well let’s just say that this guy is literally amazing! He went from not even being able to run a quarter of a mile to now running over 100 miles in a 24-hour period. I am talking Forrest Gump kind of running! How is that even possible?!? During this interview with Joe Rogan, this incredible man said one sentence that was so unbelievably simple yet so loaded with meaning. David said, “I am not gifted; I am just driven.”
Let’s pause for a second here. I really do believe this statement is worth repeating:
“I am not gifted; I am just driven.”
Wow! Those are some powerful words. And is David right? Is it all about our drive and less to do with our gifts or our inherited traits? Let’s explore this further.
When I take a step back and look at really successful people in their profession…people like Michal Jordan, Muhammad Ali, Tiger Woods, Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Jeff Benzos and the list goes on…what is one thing they all have in common? In fact, when we look at the most successful people in our society today, what trait do we tend to see with each and every one of them?
These types of people weren’t born with a gift that they easily fell into as a baby. These people may have talents that helped to make them successful, but there is one common thing they all share: They are driven. But in my opinion, they are driven with a certain kind of “mental toughness”.
So what exactly does mental toughness mean? Wikipedia defines “mental toughness” as the measure of individual resilience and confidence that may predict success in sport, education, and the workplace.
Easy right?!? Ok let’s face it… not even close to easy. So how do some people acquire this trait in life and others spend a lifetime trying to figure it out? And how do we train our brain to be “tough” and push through even when the world around us is knocking us down?... Even when we feel so tired and defeated that we think we can’t go on?... Even when we feel like just throwing in the towel?
I may not understand cooking and all of the important ingredients required to make a good recipe, but when it comes to mental toughness, I do believe I know this secret formula. I think I have this recipe figured out. What I have learned over the years is that mental toughness, as complicated as it sounds, really is pretty simple. It’s a simply receipe with two very important ingredients.
So what is this magical recipe? What two ingredients do we need to have in order to accomplish the success we choose to have in our life, in our journey? I believe that the best recipe for attaining mental toughness in our life is simply adding in a cup of “Effort” and sprinkling it with a dash of “Attitude”. That’s it! And that is a pretty easy recipe to follow…even for someone with my baking skills.
So for such an easy recipe to follow, why does it have to feel so hard? Why is the road to success so difficult? And when you think about your journey and your goals, do you feel you are on track to reach those? Or do you feel that it has been nothing but an uphill battle? What does your journey to success look like? What are your dreams for the future? And most importantly, how has your effort and your attitude been along the way?
It’s time to break this recipe down even further…
Effort is probably the easiest part of this to understand. In order to accomplish anything worth having in life, effort is always required. I am sure we all know that without the drive and desire to pursue a goal or a dream, nothing can or ever will happen. But even with effort, even if we want nothing more than to put forth our best to achieve this significant goal, the second half of this recipe is even more important: It’s all about the attitude.
Anytime we take on life, anytime we choose to take on challenges or work hard towards a goal, there will be times when seeds of doubt are planted in our mind. Certain situations will arise that will make us question everything…and I mean literally everything. Whether it’s just having an overall bad day, or maybe it’s circumstances that didn’t play out the way we had thought they would. Or maybe we had someone rude in our life that shared some words that ultimately stomped on our dreams. These times will come no matter how much effort we put in.
So this second part of the recipe, this second ingredient, is truly the most important one. We have to learn, even during the most difficult times, to control our attitude. A ride to success is rarely a fast one. Life is short, but the days can sure feel long on this type of journey. So when life throws you a curveball on your path to success, and your brain keeps shouting at you to just give up…pause right there…pause on your journey to remember “why”. Why are you fighting so hard to achieve this goal? Why are you doing all of this? And then use your “why” to carry you forward to the finish line. Stay positive, even when the world screams negativity at you.
So let’s make today the day we will start to work on this new recipe together. On our journey to success, let’s put forth as much effort as our body can handle. And then let’s not forget to sprinkle it with nothing but a positive attitude. And never forget that just as fast as positivity can feed and multiply on positivity, the same can happen with negativity. It’s up to you to decide what type of path you want to take as you continue on your journey to success…whatever that might be.
And after hearing David Goggin’s interview, I have to say that the question that keeps popping up in my mind is: Am I really that bad in the kitchen? When it comes to cooking, baking, sauteing and everything in between, am I really rotten at all of it? Did that “gift” to know my way around the kitchen just skip over me? Or is David right? Because when I reflect upon my past experiences in the kitchen, I can honestly say that I never put forth my best effort. And I certainly didn’t carry a positive attitude with me.
But if we all truly can use this recipe to attain this certain type of mental toughness, then I really do believe it doesn’t matter how “gifted” we are or how much natural talent is thrown our way. We can still achieve anythingwe choose to put our minds to…. even me…even when it comes to learning my way around the kitchen.
For resources to this blog please see my written blog at www.beyourbestselfblog.com. Let's work together to be our very best selves.