Gain a new perspective on what "Friendship" really means.
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Welcome to the Be Your Best Self Blog by Marsha Abbott.
"Unlocking Their Secret..."
Today we are going to unlock their secret. I can’t believe we haven’t figured this one out sooner. But I guess it’s better late than never…
Friendship – now that can be a loaded word! What does friendship really mean? How do we know when someone is truly our friend? And how can we really be sure that we are letting the right people into our life?
Up until recently, I don’t know that I had the answers to these questions. Not really anyway. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not because I don’t have a great circle of friends. In fact, those of you that follow me regularly already know this answer. I have amazing friends! And I could not be more grateful to have them in my life. But that doesn’t mean we haven’t had our share of ups and downs along the way. Friendship isn’t always easy, so sometimes, it’s a matter of taking a step back and really figuring out what this “friend” thing is all about. It’s having the answers to those questions I just asked. And today, I believe I finally do have those answers…
There is a young woman in my life who I have been fortunate enough to get to know over the past four years. She is spunky, sassy, hilarious, laid back and just an overall fun woman to be around. She also has a beautiful little daughter who is the spitting image of her– inside and out. So as her spunky daughter started back to preschool this year, it has been a great joy for me to hear all of the crazy stories that seem to come along with it. Recently, as this young woman was sharing with me yet another ‘preschool adventure’, it ended up being a story that taught us both a thing or two about friendship. And it made me realize that these little preschoolers have been keeping a secret from us all along.
So it’s time to finally unlocked their secret to friendship.
Her sweet little girl was at preschool one day when her and another little girl bumped heads. It had to hurt, so instantly, this bright-eyed girl starts welling up with tears. I am sure, in that moment, that this teacher was worried a child meltdown would soon be underway and possibly even some arguing among the girls. But that is not what happened. Actually, it’s not what happened at all. Instead, here is how this story played out…
At that moment, a little boy, who was sitting on the sidelines watching, knew just what to do. I am not sure howhe knew what to do, but he figured it out nonetheless. He walked right over to my friend’s sweet little girl. He grabbed ahold of her hand, and then he led her off to go and “play” the rest of the day away. No longer was this little one on the verge of crying. And no longer were those two girls angry at each other. In fact, it didn’t take long for both of them to not only forgive but also forget about the whole incident.
Because in that moment and with this little boy’s help…all was right again in the world. And by making it right, he unveiled the secret of true friendship!
So, let me ask it again: What does friendship really mean? How do we know when someone is really our friend? And how can we be sure that we are letting the right people into our life?
To me, I now realize true friendship means this: Forgiving each other easily when we hurt one another (because we will hurt each other sometimes… it’s part of being a human). It means easily forgetting and moving on after we have had some bad moments in our friendship (because true friends recognize that mistakes not only can but will happen). Friendship also means having someone by our side to hold our hand when we need it the most. It means being there for each other even in our most difficult hour (no matter how uncomfortable it may feel). And most importantly, when we need that welcomed distraction from the reality of our life, a true friend will not only be standing by our side, but they will also be guiding the way…to help us forget about life for just a little while...
So maybe “Friendship” really isn’t a complicated word after all. And if it feels complicated in your life, well then, maybe it doesn’t have to be. Maybe instead you just need to make some difficult changes among your circle of friends. Because while the true secret to friendship has always been locked away in the minds of preschoolers, it’s finally time to unlock their secret. It’s time to realize that friendship really should be as simple as these little children taught us it can be. And honestly, I can’t believe we haven’t figured this out sooner. But like I already said, I guess it’s better late than never…
*For those of you struggling with something in life or have a topic of interest that you want me to talk about in this blog, email me at BeYourBestSelfBlog@gmail.com. Let’s work together to Be Our Best Selves!