When health problems affect our life, gain a new perspective on how to focus on the positives.
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Welcome to the Be Your Best Self Blog by Marsha Abbott.
"You Betrayed Me."
To My Body,
You betrayed me…and I kind of hate you for it.
Everything in my life was moving along just fine. I had just the right amount of chaos and stress. And all of the small things seemed so important to me. I would worry and wonder about those everyday troubles…things like what to make for dinner for the family, or how we would juggle all of the kid’s sports games, or when I would get the house chores done, and even figuring out the weekend plans to try to fit everything in.
Like I said, I had just the right amount of chaos and stress. And all of those things seemed so very important….
Until suddenly they weren’t.
Because you decided to betray me…and I hate you for that.
It started with some small signs at first. Little things that felt off to me. Soon enough, I was in to the doctor trying to figure out exactly how you were deceiving me. Through some scans you decided to reveal your true flaws. As the doctor said those next words to me, I heard only one…Cancer…
And that is when everything changed. Because time, in that moment, seemed to just standstill. And all of those things that seemed so incredibly important, well they just weren’t anymore. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think. I didn’t know what to do next. I felt so angry and sad. So I laid on the floor and cried…while time continued to just standstill.
And all because you betrayed me…why did you have to go and do that?
But as I laid on the floor that day, I realized that I really only had two choices to make in this moment. I could choose to stay just as I was and give in to your betrayal…give in to the hurt and anger you were causing me and my loved ones to feel. I could really just choose to give up on it all.
Or I could choose to do something different...
I could decide instead to take this difficult moment in my life and turn it into something positive. I could choose to learn from it. I could decide to grow from it. And most importantly, I could make the decision to fight like hell to overcome it. I could decide to fight harder than I have ever fought before and to instead heal…to heal the flaws you caused and to take my body back…to make it mine again.
And as I realized that, time no longer was frozen. And I knew just what I needed to do. So I picked myself up off of the ground, and I decided to do something bold. I chose to let go of the anger, to let go of the hurt, and instead do something that is so hard to do…I chose to forgive you. To forgive you for your deceit…to forgive your betrayal. So I took one step forward and then another after that. And with each additional step, I made the choice to make the best of this very bad situation.
So yes, you did betray me…but I don’t hate you anymore.
Because here is what you made me see: I learned to appreciate all of the moments in my life…big and small, it doesn’t matter. You taught me to love harder than I ever imagined possible. You helped me to grow and understand that I should forgive often to all those in my life that hurt me. And mostly, you made me realize to never take a single thing for granted. To not ever take a single moment in time for granted.
So how can I be mad at you anymore?
Because as I fight like hell to heal my body and to get my life back, you have taught me how much I really should have appreciated every moment that I had before. And so, when I finally get back that right amount of chaos and stress in my life, I am going to stand back and look around, and then I am going to smile bigger than I ever have before. And I am going to always rememberthat this is exactly how I will forever want things to be…in my perfect little life.
Sincerely,
Me
*For those of you struggling with something in life or have a topic of interest that you want me to talk about in this blog, email me at BeYourBestSelfBlog@gmail.com. Let’s work together to Be Our Best Selves!